flashbacks

I remember very little about my freshman year of college. I think I've blocked most of it out, especially the awful outdoor production of The Taming of the Shrew (I was Bianca. That's how off the production was.). I hung out with a group of girls from my dorm a lot, my roomie and the girls from the two rooms next to ours. One of those girls went to Columbine, a fact she didn't share verbally but was broadcast by the old high school tshirts she'd wear to bed. One of the few things I do remember is this group of girls went to see "Bowling for Columbine" some night on campus. She insisted she wanted to go, she felt she was up for it. After all, she hadn't even been at Columbine when the massacre happened, she was in the 8th grade. But the movie upset her more than she expected, especially the cavalier reactions of her fellow students. We spent the evening in her room, listening to her rant and cry. I think I remember this moment because it was one of the first times I understood how much growing up sucks. Your friends will be upset about things that are bigger than losing a soccer game or getting an A- on a test and you can't fix these things by treating them to a frappucino. The point of this is, when I saw this book, Columbine, at Jackson McNally, I immediately purchased it, thinking about that past moment. I also was intrigued by the book's style, hearkening back to In Cold Blood. It didn't let me down. I was so drawn into this story about two young men, about a community, about the media, about a police force struggling to handle the unhandleable. Fascinating and moving and somehow, entirely judgment free. Obviously, I'll never understand what my friend was going through that night freshman year, but I appreciate having a better understanding.